I don’t always feel like I have something special or profound to share. Sometimes I have days where my mind is relaxed (not lazy) but at peace. That sounds really hippie, I know, but it’s true. It’s like my personality needs some time to reset even if I surround myself with others. Usually being around another person will bring the “extrovert” out of me for a few hours, then I go back to being relaxed. I think the same pattern repeats in a larger scale.
I go weeks with being energetic in my everyday life. I show it in my own way, but it’s still there even if others have a hard time seeing it. On days like this, it’s not that I’m not excited or even lazy as I go about my work, I’m just not verbal about my emotions. Even to myself, I know they’re there but I just don’t know how to accept them at the time being. It’s almost like I’m too distracted to pay any attention to my feelings. There’s a part of me that enjoys that, but I mainly don’t care!
This is all a part of my journey to discovering more about myself. I don’t think there’s a better time to learn about how you function than when you’re young, but of course, I think it’s a life-long journey. So if anything profound happened inside this girl’s brain today, it’s that I learned sometimes I’m not profound. I was toned down today. Today, I took in my surroundings and I lived one moment at a time. Maybe that’s natural. Maybe it’s okay to be at peace, recharge and have days like today. Today wasn't a waste, but I’ll accept it as a part of the process of life.