I really don't have much to say today in light of the fact that I don't feel like writing. Yes, it's another one of those nights where fear, shame, and guilt have me tied down to the ground. Some days I really hate myself, but I will never hate anything more than I hate fear. It takes and takes and takes. It eats away your mind, it's relentless, and blinds you to many things. Fear has been haunting me for so long, and I'm so tired of it. I'm so done with it.
I'm writing this anyway, even if I feel stupid, because I know that in order to conquer fear, you have to be even more relentless than it itself. My issue is that I put some of my determination in the wrong place: in running. Running doesn't solve anything and I'm learning that the hard way. Running is just fear masked with logic, and if you run, you carry fear with you.
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