“This past month I've experienced lots of transitions. I started Praxis, graduated High School, I've been job hunting and I'm working on tons of projects. Because the constant changes are constantly on my mind, it's hard to keep myself organized. Don’t get me wrong, I have set goals and a clear picture of where I'm going. I know my plan so that’s not my main concern here. I think the main reason I feel this way is because it’s happening so fast. I was looking forward to this, and I’m glad it’s here, but some things are bittersweet. It’s the cutting out relationships to focus on my goals. It’s deciding what to let go of, and when to let go of it. But like I said, I’m excited about the journey, I’m ready for what’s coming. I really should only allow myself to be sad for a moment, but then it’s time to move on."
I wrote that four months ago with the intent to turn it into a longer blog post. I never did, but it’s funny looking back to when the changes were intimidating. Four months isn’t long but it’s plenty time to adjust to something, and I’m glad I’ve had practice in putting myself out there, because it taught me what kind of sacrifices to make.
Sometimes changes can be so constant that you begin to detach myself from things you shouldn’t. I’m very much guilty of that. It’s one of my weaknesses to hide as a way of “protecting” myself. Don’t give yourself away to nothingness just because you’re too scared to invest into something bigger. You also don’t want to give up on things that matter before they give up on you, because it may never happen.
What I’ve learned is that as your journey progresses, expect to jump through lots of hurdles. Lots, and lots, of hurdles. (It’s life, really.) Since it’s life we’re talking about here, you don’t want to miss out. You want to make the right kind of sacrifices.
My last year of “High School” was the year I finally decided to open up more with my friends at my homeschool co-op. My whole life I practically hid from the world and let fear dominate in certain (not all) areas of my life. That was stupid. The one year I wanted to go deeper in my friendships was the last year I’d see them consistently. I wasted years doing nothing for myself, when I could’ve been doing something for someone else. I made the wrong sacrifice.
All that’s to say time passes quickly, and even if transitions are difficult, you can’t escape them. Make sure you cherish the things that matter most in the time you can. Change sucks, but you can adjust to it. Just be careful not to lose yourself or miss out in the process.